Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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