Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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