ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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