I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
