You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize