Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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