it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
