Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I am available for nakedness
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
