hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
