You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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