It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
