I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
