Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
