laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
