Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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