Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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