hotel room ftw
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
