Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize