I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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