If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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