It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize