he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
