So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
