Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
