She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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