Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How drunk are you?
Completed.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
