yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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