Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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