margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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