Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
