Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize