You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
