that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
