You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
