obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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