There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize