Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
