Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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