ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Say something about gay babies.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
