Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
