nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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