physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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