do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
