All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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