Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
