I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize