so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
