I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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