I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
