He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize