it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
