so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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