allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
