When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
