My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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