bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
