I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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