I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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