i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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