Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize