it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
