i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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