So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
