It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Floor bacon is actually really good
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
