margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
