He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
